Let’s talk about my man, shall we?  Though I guess he’s not my man now. But fuck do I wish he was. I think. Maybe. I don’t know anymore. Lol as if I wouldn’t marry him tomorrow if he manned up enough to want me. You guys know Ben. How could you not? I’ve been…

Dear people who say anything along the lines of “ugh social media? Calm down, why do you even care what happens on there?” Are you waiting for your medal? Let me go whip up a ‘Self Righteous Wank of the Year’ sash for you real quick.  Like congratulations, you are unable to grasp the concept…

“I think your fucking so full of yourself” Fascinating message I received lately! I actually haven’t received this sentiment (to my face) in aaaages, so indulge me while I unpack it for a minute here.  First things first, personally I find any insult to be at least 20% less potent when it’s delivered with poor…

I just remembered how much I thrive on shameless authenticity.  I can practically taste the discomfort of onlookers who are confronted with my lack of given fucks towards an agreeable aesthetic. And I’m not gonna lie, it kinda charges my batteries!  On the other end of the spectrum, the more I try to hide the…

You know what’s been on my mind lately? Porn. Specifically, the selling of porn. Which, for those of you not in the know, I have done! I know, it’s incredibly shocking. I can practically hear you clutching your pearls from here! The PERPETUALLY NAKED GIRL does PORN? I wouldn’t have guessed it either. (Not that…

So I’m sitting down to write this at 1:17am (standing naked at my bathroom sink, actually, to be precise) because apparently the only way my brain truly comprehends quality “me time” is if it’s in the middle of the fucking night.  I mean, is there value in waking up early and enjoying a quiet cup…

In my first blog of this series I vehemently stated that y’all are not allowed to let me get distracted by a man.  Aaaaand I immediately got distracted by a man!  Plot twist. He’s my boss.  As in, I’ve been working a lot. Calm down 😉 But for reals, ya girl has been buuuussyyyyy!  In…

I’m having coffee with a Cancerian gentleman tomorrow. At least we’re hoping he’s a gentleman. It’s just a tinder thing, so you never know! I mean I’ve literally told him the bar is on the ground as far as my expectations for him as a person go, so it’s gonna be pretty easy to have…

I started at a new gym today! I haven’t been to the gym in over a year and it felt so good to be back. I mean I’d prefer to be back on the land, always with something physical to do keeping me fit. But as far as living in suburbia goes, going to the…

A few years back I had a friend who encouraged me to join the creative writing group she was in on Facebook. They were running a workshop of sorts and it was encouraged we post five dot points every day.  They could be as simple or involved as we felt, just as long as we…