Day 3. Is it three days in a row? ’Tis not. Does this bother me? Very much so!
I missed a day, planned to make up for it the next day, aaaand didn’t. Cue the big ol’ snowball of guilty anxiety over an entirely inconsequential commitment I made to myself that no-one but me would notice, let alone be emotionally invested in.
I want to give up under the guise of “starting fresh” at a later point and doing it properly. Because clearly if I missed a few days of self imposed continuity, any previous or subsequent value that I may or may not have derived from this challenge is automatically nullified, right?
Wrong.
I mean sure I would like to be the kind of person that’s always on top of everything, get’s all the tasks done in an appropriate timeframe and is just altogether a typically functioning member of society. (I may be giving this project an unnecessary air of importance in the grand scheme of my life here.)
But I know I can go really hard, make it perfect, hyper-focus my way through a short term goal. What I haven’t cracked the code on yet, is continuing when I don’t feel like it. When I’m feeling unsuccessful and generally useless. We don’t like doing things that we’re not naturally good at, do we? I’m good at the writing part. But the commitment part? Not so much. This is a hard one!
And judging my the ridiculous level of resistance I’ve got coming up, it’s an important one!
So without any further ado. I’m posting day 3. And I WILL make 100 posts, whether they’re consecutive or not! Perfectionism, imposter syndrome, limiting beliefs and any other terms we can come up with to describe a general demeanour of not embodying my awesomeness, be damned!
Plus I did actually get my arse into gear and put a blog together in the meantime, so I’m gonna call it a bit of a win.
Yay me. *opens and closes instagram and snapchat another twelve times before actually pressing post* I SAID YAY ME. ugh.