Tonight a man on tinder told me he’d bring me snacks in exchange for – and I quote – “a blowjob”.
I don’t know if I’m more or less offended that he didn’t even swing for a whole fuck.
Like firstly, ick. Secondly, it’s bad enough being reduced to a sex object, let alone being reduced all the way down to a single orifice!
And look, to his credit, he didn’t open with this gem. He had the decency to pretend he had a flicker of interest in me as a human for like eight whole messages before he saw his chance to drive the conversation.. uh.. headfirst into blowjob territory and he grabbed it with.. uh.. both hands, as it were 😉
Also it was in response to me doing the whole “oh you’re getting dinner? Should bring me some” harr harr I’m terribly witty and we all know I’m kidding trope. Not just “will feed you in exchange for sexual favours” out of nowhere. I know, I’m missing out on a true gentleman for the ages here!
And sure, I’m as down for a good serve of cheeky banter as the next girl. And obviously I’m not expecting a man with Jane Austen-esque conversational skills to be hanging out in TInderland. But DUDE. I am too old for this shit. Why are men still trying to speak to me as though I’m a naive teenager who only knows how to awkwardly giggle in in the face of sexual harassment?
*stares blankly*
Maybe it’s because I’m still awkwardly giggling in the face of sexual harassment. HAHA. fuck. I was sitting here thinking well… if someone else complained to me about this, I’d ask them what it is about them that’s calling this energy in, what is it about them that’s still allowing it, what’s still left to learn, how did they responded to this man and BIG YIKES guys. I laughed it off.
A complete stranger on the internet went from “g’day” to “put my dick in your mouth” entirely unprompted, in a truly unwholesome amount of time, and I had the audacity to NOT tell him that’s feral behaviour?! Who am I.
Honestly, I could go on about this for so so so long. But I’m bored. This is boring. I’m over it. This shouldn’t even be a conversation anymore.
So if you’re someone who’s still making unwarranted sexual remarks to literally anyone other than clearly interested and consenting adults. Please stop it.
And if – like me – you’re still copping this behaviour… uh… on the chin, as it were (I’M SORRY HAHA) then by golly let’s all stop doing that too.